1. With a gun barrel between your teeth, you speak only in vowels.

2. Bob. Bob had bitch tits.

3. Strangers with this kind of honesty make me go a big rubbery one.

4. I found freedom, losing all hope is freedom.

5. Babies don't sleep this well.

6. I became addicted.

7. Slide.

8. This was my vacation, and she ruined everything.

9. Marla! You big tourist! I need this! Now get out!

10. No one will have sex with me. I'm so close to the end and all I want is to get laid for the last time. I have pornographic movies in my apartment and lubricants and anal nitrate...

11. If I did have a tumor, I’d name it Marla.

12. Marla, the little scratch on the roof of your mouth that would heal if only you could stop tonguing it, but you can’t.

13. This is your life, and it’s ending one minute at a time.

14. Woman: What company do you work for? Jack: A major one.

15. Oxygen gets you high.

16. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows.

17. With enough soap, one could blow up just about anything.

18. You have a kind of sick desperation in your laugh.

19. Tyler: How’s that working out for you? Jack: What? Tyler: Being clever. Jack: Great. Tyler: Keep it up then.

20. Of course it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We have to use the indefinite article A dildo, never YOUR dildo.

21. How embarrassing. A houseful of condiments and no food.

22. Tyler: What are we? Jack: Consumers.

23. I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let's evolve, let the chips fall where they may.

24. The things you own, end up owning you.

25. Just ask, cut the foreplay, and just ask.

26. I want you to hit me as hard as you can.

27. How much can you know about yourself if you’ve never been in a fight?...I don't want to die without any scars.

28. Tyler: Goddammit you hit me in the ear! Jack: Oh, I fucked it up. Tyler: No, it was perfect!... Jack: Hit me again.

29. Jack: I am Jack’s colon... Tyler: I get cancer. I kill Jack.

30. I'm a 30 year old boy.

31. You can swallow a pint of blood before getting sick.

32. Self-improvement is masturbation, not self-destruction.

33. Tyler: Any historical figure... Jack: I'd fight Gandhi. Tyler: Good answer.

34. I am Jack's raging bile duct.

35. Put a gun to my head and paint the walls with my brains.

36. I haven't been fucked like that since grade school.

37. Tyler: Now promise me. Jack: OK. Tyler: You promise? Jack: Yea, I promise. Tyler: PROMISE. Jack: I just said I promise! Tyler: That's three times you promised.

38. I got right into everyone’s hostile little face. Yes, these are bruises from fighting. Yes, I’m comfortable with that. I am enlightened.

39. You give up the condo-life; Give up all your flaming worldly possessions. Go live in a dilapidated house in a toxic waste part of town, and you have to come home to this.

40. I am Jack's cold sweat.

41. I'd like to thank the Academy.

42. The condom is the glass slipper of our generation. You slip one on when you meet a stranger. You...dance all night. Then you throw it away. The condom, I mean, not the stranger.

43. Gotta get off. Gotta get off this merry-go-round.

44. Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.

45. Tyler: The salt balance has to be just right, so the best fat for making soap comes from humans. Jack: Wait. What is this place? Tyler: A liposuction clinic.

46. Without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing.

47. What you're feeling is premature enlightenment.

48. Our fathers were our models for God. If our fathers bailed, what does that tell us about God? You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, He hates you.

49. This is not the worst thing that can happen! We don't need Him! Fuck damnation, man! Fuck redemption! We are God's unwanted children, so be it!

50. First you have to give up. First you have to know, not fear, know that someday you are going to die.

51. It’s only after we’ve lost everything, that we’re free to do anything.

52. It was beautiful. We were selling rich women their own fat asses back to them.

53. We are the middle children of history, with no purpose or place. We have no great war, no great depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives.

54. Lou: You hear me now? Tyler: No, I didn't quite catch that, Lou... Still not gettin' it... OK, OK, OK. I got it, I got it. Shit, I lost it.

55. You don't know where I've been, Lou! You don't know where I've been!

56. I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.

57. I am Jack's smirking revenge.

58. I am Jack's wasted life.

59. No fear. No distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide.

60. You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis! You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

61. I'm gonna go inside, and I'm gonna get a shovel.

62. Space monkey. Ready to sacrifice himself for a greater good.

63. You’re too fucking...BLONDE!

64. Listen up maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else. We are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. We all part of the same compost heap.

65. The first rule of Project Mayhem is that you do not ask questions.

66. Look, the people you are after are the people you depend on. We cook your meals. We haul your trash. We connect your calls. We drive your ambulances. We guard you while you sleep. Do not fuck with us.

67. I am Jack's inflamed sense of rejection.

68. I wanted to breathe smoke. I felt like destroying something beautiful.

69. If you were to die right now, how would you feel about your life?

70. Hitting bottom is not a weekend retreat! It is not a Goddamn seminar! This requires commitment. Stop trying to control everything and just let go. Let go!

71. We just had a near-life experience!

72. You can't smoke in here! You know how much ether we have in this house?

73. I am Jack's broken heart.

74. He's not here. Tyler isn't here. Tyler went away. Tyler gone.

75. Was I asleep? Have I slept?

76. Please return your seatbelts to the full upright position.

77. We have just lost cabin pressure.

78. All the ways you wish you could be? That's me. I look like you want to look. I fuck like you want to fuck. I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.

79. You're whacked out bald freaks hit me with a fucking broom! They almost broke my arm! They were burning their fingertips with lye. The stink was unbelievable.

80. Two sides? You're Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Jackass.

81. First person who gets out of this fucking door gets a... gets a lead salad, you understand!?

82. You wanna make an omelet, you gotta break some eggs.

83. OK, you are now firing a gun at your imaginary friend near 400 gallons of nitroglycerin!

84. I will carry you, kicking and screaming, and in the end, you will thank me.

85. Jack: The gun isn't in your hand. It's in my hand. Tyler: Hey, good for you, doesn't change a thing.

86. Find some gauze.

87. You met me at a very strange time in my life.